In the cult-classic TV show Friends, Chandler Bing often masks his discomfort with humour, famously quipping, “I make jokes when I am uncomfortable.” His line perfectly encapsulates a growing trend in today’s digital world, where self-defeating humour becomes a defence mechanism for coping with discomfort and anxiety. As I was scrolling through X (formerly Twitter) on September 15th and 16th, I stumbled upon a meme trend where individuals were expressing their disappointment about the non-arrival of an apocalyptic asteroid.
What started as a joke evolved into a cultural wave, with the asteroid being humorously dubbed dhokebaaz (cheater) and bewafa (unfaithful). While funny at first, these memes point to something deeper—an emotional landscape where existential anxiety is masked by humour.
Memes as a reflection of social anxiety
Memes have become a new-age form of social commentary. With their concise humour and rapid dissemination, they capture the essence of societal sentiments. Though often light-hearted, they carry emotional weight and reflect shared experiences. Researchers have begun to examine memes through the lens of media studies, psychology, and sociology, seeking to understand the emotions and anxieties behind their popularity.
Self-defeating memes, in particular, allow users to laugh at their own misfortune, creating a shared sense of solidarity. Studies by Gardner et al. highlight how sharing such content can foster a perceived sense of social support, improving life satisfaction and self-esteem. As Martin et al. described, self-defeating humour is often about amusing others at one’s own expense, with individuals willingly becoming the butt of the joke to gain approval or fit in. While it provides temporary relief, it can also obscure the underlying emotional strain.
Although the asteroid memes are funny, they subtly express a feeling of sadness and a desire for the asteroid to end the mazdoori life. This recurring theme of “the asteroid that never came” ties directly to these anxieties, offering a humorous yet deeply symbolic outlet for people to express their frustration with life’s unpredictability.
Struggling between two worlds
Behind this self-defeating humour lies a generation grappling with the burden of unmet expectations. The millennial cohort (born 1981–1996) stands at a unique intersection between the values of Generation X and the digital fluency of Generation Z. They grew up in the aftermath of the 1991 economic reforms in India, navigating a rapidly globalized world that promised much but delivered less. Many were raised with the belief that education, hard work, and dedication would lead to stable jobs and a prosperous future. But as they prepared for this future world, that world never came to be.
Today, millennials face identity crises, unemployment, the pressure of academic overqualification, and an unrelenting struggle for financial independence. The mismatch between their qualifications and the jobs they land contributes to a sense of inadequacy and frustration. This societal pressure, combined with widening generational gaps between millennials and their parents, amplifies the feelings of isolation and anxiety.
In the Indian context, societal norms place additional stress on educated youth to achieve “success,” with a specific definition of high-paying jobs and stable careers. The relentless hustle culture and peer pressure push millennials into a cycle of self-doubt, creating an atmosphere where humour, particularly self-defeating humour, becomes a way to express their frustrations without openly admitting defeat.
Self-defeating humour as a coping mechanism
Kariko and Anasih (2019) explored how dark and self-defeating humour functions as a coping mechanism. They argue that such humour allows individuals to confront their challenges with a sense of resilience by laughing at their problems. Memes like the asteroid jokes help people find solidarity in shared despair, fostering a sense of camaraderie among those who feel similarly trapped. While these memes do offer momentary relief, they can also mask the deeper emotional turmoil simmering right beneath the surface. Memes provide an outlet to laugh at one’s struggles, but they do not offer lasting solutions to the underlying causes of anxiety and disillusionment.
Apocalyptic fantasies: An escape route
The allure of apocalyptic scenarios in films and literature also plays a role in shaping these memes. Post-apocalyptic narratives often romanticize survival in a lawless, Darwinian world, presenting protagonists who heroically navigate the chaos. In these fantasies, the destruction of the world offers an escape from the relentless pressures of modern life. But as these apocalyptic events remain confined to fiction, the real-world struggles persist, leading to a kind of despair where the only relief comes from laughing at an asteroid that never arrives.
Finding a way forward
The asteroid memes, while humorous, reveal a need for deeper introspection. The humour provides temporary solace, but the long-term solution lies in addressing the root causes of millennials’ anxiety. This generation needs more than just comic relief; they need outlets for real communication and psychological support.
Normalizing discussions about mental health and seeking psychological guidance can help bridge the gap between humour and healing. Laughing at life’s absurdities is healthy, but relying solely on self-defeating humour risks perpetuating a cycle of despair. Mental well-being cannot be sustained by memes alone. Creating a culture where seeking psychological help is as normal as sharing a meme can provide a way forward for those who feel trapped by societal pressures. Professional guidance doesn’t replace humour—it complements it by offering tools to build resilience and emotional strength.
Asteroid Tum Kal Aana!
So, while we laugh today and say, “Asteroid tum kal aana!”, let’s also take a step toward improving mental health. Humour is a great way to cope, but real growth comes from recognizing when we need help and taking action. There’s more to life than waiting for an escape from the cosmos—sometimes, the real solution lies within us.
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